Wednesday, February 29, 2012

What is My Purpose?

I started this blog 3 months ago.  It coincided with me signing up to participate in the 3-day.  I originally thought it would be a place to update folks on my training and fundraising progress.  It's that.  But it's become so much more to me.  It's become my place to share my thoughts, on my mom, on my kids, on being a mom, on the walk, on life.  It's become my little space to share me with whoever wants to listen.

When my mom was alive she always talked about one day writing a book.  She had life experience and she wanted to share it.  I kind of feel connected to this goal of hers when I write. 

If you know me at all you know that I'm type-A and very much want to be successful in whatever I put my effort and energy into.  Lately I have been struggling with what success for this blog is.

Is success being open and honest about what is in my head and heart?

Is success sharing my mom with my family and friends?

Is success generating support for my efforts to erradicate breast cancer?

Is success growing an audience and becoming a recognized voice in the blogging community?

I have to admit, lately my mind keeps taking me to that last definition of success.  I keep comparing myself to other female blogers I follow: @heirtoblair, @jennandtonica, @babyrabies, @momastery (all of these are wonderful writers who entertain and inspire me on a daily basis) to name just a few.  I envy the volume of comments they get on each of their posts.  The companies they partner with.  The give aways they sponsor.  Their wit.  Their honesty.  I envy their audience.  I'm kind of sort of jealous that I didn't go to Blissdom or Blogher.  I wonder if my words matter to anyone but me.

And then I wonder if I should care.  Am I writing for recognition and to be liked or am I writing for me?  I'm not sure I know the answer to that.

And then today, as I was having this very dialogue inside my head a tweet came across my twitter feed:
@SthrnFairytale: Never compare your beginning to someone else's middle -

It's kind of exactly what I needed to hear  read today.  So while I'm still not sure what my purpose is - I'm going to continue to write and be true to myself.  Maybe that is what my real success is.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so thankful to however that came across your twitter stream.

    When Jon Acuff said those words in the Blissdom Opening Presentation it stopped me in my tracks.

    How often do we find ourselves comparing where we are, to where someone else is... we just can't do that. It is only harmful to us.

    Those women you mentioned are wonderful writers and people, but it's just like he said "Never compare your beginning to someone else's middle" So true.

    Embracing where I am, my own voice, style, uniqueness and place, is one of the most powerful things that I brought back from Blissdom.

    NExt year, I hope to meet you there :-)

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  2. As a blogger who's never attended a conference or had an advertiser, I measure my personal success in blogging on my ability to find satisfaction in my writing. It's something I haven't done lately, and that's partly to blame on having a wider readership than my privacy is comfy with. Blogging "success" has its consequences - some positive, and some negative.

    The first step, though, is most definitely being happy with what you write.

    Thanks for the love, by the way!

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