Monday, February 6, 2012

All about Will - My Surprise Blessing

Will was . . . how shall we say it . . . an unexpected blessing.  In the first few months after I found out I was pregnant I said that over and over and over again trying to convince myself it was true.

The fact is I was up to my ears in a rambunctious 7 month old named Sam and the thought of adding another baby to the chaos that was our life was overwhelming.  But while I was struggling to make peace with the timing I celebrated the baby inside me.  While my sleep deprived brain tried to catch up, my heart was already in love with this little life.

Will was due on my birthday -- March 8 -- but he didn't wait that long.  Induced due to preeclampsia, Will made his appearance in this world on February 23 -- my mom's birthday.  It really couldn't have been more perfect.  And I don't think I can find the words to describe the mix of emotions -- bittersweet and all consuming -- that I felt when I held my sweet Will for the very first time.  The grief and joy were so intermingled I couldn't tell one from the other.

But in that moment I knew something for sure.  Will was not an unexpected blessing. Will was a very planned and intentional gift from my mom.

You see, I believe that God gave me Sam. He knew I needed Sam to get me through the first year without my mom.

But Will was my mom's doing.  Her answer to my desperate pleas.  I wasn't seeing her in my dreams like others had reported.  I would cry out questions to her that would go unanswered.  Just as I was struggling to see her in the every day she sent me a sign that she was still with me.  And every day since I look at that little boy who has so stolen my heart and I know, I just know deep down inside that she is with me.
read to be read at yeahwrite.me

48 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, Amanda. You always bring tears to my eyes with these posts! And happy birthday to little Will!

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  2. Beautifully said. This was a terrific read.

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  3. What a beautiful reminder that we should accept life's gifts with an open heart. Thank you for sharing your joy with us!

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  4. Beautiful post. Very touching and heartwarming.

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  5. Almost full term, not bad for having preeclampsia. My wife had the same condition when carrying our last child, born 10 premature early at 3 pounds, 6 ounces. But other than being early and small, she was perfectly healthy. Congratulations on the birth of your son.

    (Kellie's World)

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    1. Yes! I was very lucky! So glad to hear your little girl is OK!

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  6. I love this. Such a beautiful story. I'll bet your mom is looking down and saying, "she figured it out!"

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  7. What gorgeous little boys you have!! I'm glad your mom was able to give you a sign :)

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    1. Oh, thank you so much! I think they are cute, but I may be biased :-)

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  8. Aww so sad and sweet. How touching!

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  9. very sweet...looks like your mom had a plan :)

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    1. Thank Robbie -- I like to think she did!

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  10. As a fellow motherless mother, this one did me in. He is beautiful. And I have no doubt that your mother sent him to you. :)

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    1. Thank you! And I'm so sorry for your loss. This is tough club to be a part of.

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  11. So lovely and so sweet at the same time. Beautifully written. Your mom is watching over you smiling. =)

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    1. Thanks for the kind words Kerry -- I sure hope she is.

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  12. You must have been one busy mommy! So nice though to have a gift from your mom.

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  13. Beautiful story!

    I am walking the Chicago 3-Day in August - which one are you doing?

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    1. Thanks Jamie-

      I'm walking in the DC 3-Day in October

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  14. What a sweet, beautiful post! Love it. And your kids are just adorable!

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  15. I love this! I love that she is with you and you know it through your son. Beautiful post.

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  16. What a beauty he is. You are right. I don't think anything -- much less the birth of a child -- just happens.

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    1. Losing my mom has shaken my faith but some things just seem to connected. Know what I mean?

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  17. oh, nothing like that just happens. he is a gift. a life with a purpose, that is for sure. love it!

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    1. Tara-thank you thank you! Absolutely a life with purpose. Both my boys saved me from the dark place I was in when I lost my mom. They gave me a reason to find my way back to me!

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  18. This is so beautiful. God bless you, your sweet boy, and the angel watching over both of you.

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  19. Kristin-
    thank you so much for you sweet sweet words!

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  20. True perfection. How lovely :)

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  21. I'm struggling through a pregnancy without my mother to refer to. It sucks.

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    1. I'm so sorry! Yes it does. There are so many things I wish I had got the chance to ask her.

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