Dear Target, Parent's are People Too!

 I'm not usually a mommy rant kind of person.  I am well aware that in return for the blessings my children bestow on me there would be things we'd be giving up.  I know better than to take my kids into high end shops.  And Matt and I always choose a place that is loud and accommodating to kids when we take them out to eat.  Sure, I'm trying to teach my kids how to behave in public but the bottom line is they are 1 and 2.  I'm realistic, I know their limitations and boundaries and I don't force them into situations that are bad for them and would be disruptive to others. 

All this is a big set up to today's events.

It's a rainy, icky day today so after Little Gym I met Matt at Target.  I've been needing to pick up some walking gear  (I'm still wearing my maternity yoga pants and they just aren't cutting it anymore).  A couple of friends told me the Champion line at Target was pretty solid gear. 

Matt and I split up -- he took Sam to look for some things for his car and I took Will into the active wear.  I spent a while going through the racks and picking out a cart full or shirts and pants and other necessities to try on.  Will was on his best behavior (a rare and very welcome occurrence).

When I went to try them on the woman at the counter told me I could not take my cart with me.  I looked from Will to her and back to Will.  I asked her how people with small Children could try on clothes.  She rolled her eyes at me and said "Fine, but you can only take in 6 things and you must leave the rest out here."

OK, great.  Thanks - I could do that.  Just give me a minute to sort my cart load of clothes into piles of 6.  Once I had my piles sorted and the first 6 ready to go I turned back to her and asked her if there was somewhere I could put the rest of the clothes while I tried on the 6 I was allowed.

Another eye roll (my temperature started to rise).  She told me if I left them out there someone could take them and put them away.  This lady was definitely not interested in trying to make this easy for me which I pointed out to her.  She went on to tell me that she "was just telling me where I couldn't leave them."  I countered that I had not asked where I couldn't leave them but had asked where I COULD leave them.  She repeated that if I left them out someone could put them away. 

This was going nowhere fast and admittedly I was growing angry. 

It ended with me leaving my five neat piles of six articles a piece on her counter and letting her know that her customer service left much to be desired.

On may way out I raised it to the manager who assured me that the actions did not represent Target's philosophy.  Nice to know but it didn't make me feel much better.  It was a complete waste of an hour.  I had a tired and hungry baby but nothing to show for it.

Listen, I know everyone's time is stretched to the max, I'm not the first or the last person who is juggling work and kids and home and life.  I don't expect special accommodations.  I'll follow the rules.  But I'm a mom.  I'm rarely not attached to at least one of my kids and I still need to get things done efficiently.  And the fact that this woman today made me feel like such a burden on her really got me hot.  I was in TARGET for the love of all things.  I would venture to say that a hefty portion of their profits come from parent's of kids - they have one of the largest baby sections outside of Babies R Us.

So I left Target with an empty cart -- no walking gear and Target lost my business.  I'm one mom - so I know I don't mean much in the grand scheme of things to Target but it left a sour taste in my mouth and will have me looking to other options before going back there again. 

Faith, and God, and the Meaning of Life - Where do I Start?

One of the things I've really wanted to work on lately is my faith.

I read this post today.  She talks about always feeling carried by a higher being but not knowing how to help someone get there.  And I get that.

In my life, I had always felt carried, protected, loved, understood by something higher.  For me that something higher was understood through a Roman Catholic context but for right here, right now I'm just going to call it something higher.  Something external from myself and from this earthly world.  And this higher power carried me through a fair share of hardships, things that challenged me emotionally.  It was a rock I held onto when the rest of the World didn't make sense.

But then 2009 happened and that feeling of being carried disappeared.  I felt betrayed.  Hm, maybe worse.  I felt like maybe there was never anything there to begin with.  That maybe this feeling that I was carried, loved, protected and understood by a higher power was not grounded in any truth.  Because if there was something there and it really did understand me, how could it possibly take away my mom -- so young -- so quick.  How could it do that to me?  How could a higher power that truly knows me and understands me and wants to protect me and carry me hurt me so badly.

And so for the last few years I have been struggling.  Well maybe that's not exactly true because for a while I just gave up.  I didn't care.  How can you struggle when you don't believe?  But this is something I want to put back on the table.  I have babies and I feel like I owe it to them to figure out where my faith is.  One day soon they will be asking questions and I'll tell them I don't have all the answers, but I owe it to them to seek those answers because that is what I will tell them to do.

Still, I don't know how to go back.  Where do I begin to rebuild this  relationship?  How do I start?  It's like a really bad breakup and what was said and done is just too bad, too hard, to forget.  It lingers and the hurt lingers and it's like poison.  I feel like I'm on really shaky ground and I don't know how to get a foot hold.

To the Parents who Taught me About Love

Today is my parent's wedding anniversary.  The day that joined the two people who shaped me into the person I am today.  I tend to worry about my dad on ceremonial days like today.  But the one thing that the last few years have shown me is that my dad is stronger and more resilient than I ever thought possible.  So today, instead of worrying I am going to take a few moments and honor the union of two of the people I love the very most in this World. 

I wouldn't say my parent's marriage was always easy but it was always honest and it was always grounded in love.  It set the example for me of what a relationship, a partnership, a family should be.

There was compromise and compassion, teamwork and communication.  They complimented each other - my mom's fiery and outgoing personality with my dad's more understated dry wit and charm. 

When they would get dressed up and leave us with a babysitter for a night out I swore they were the most glamorous people in the world.  My mom with her high heels clicking on the tile floors, lipstick freshly applied, perfume in the air.  My dad in a freshly pressed shirt, hair perfectly combed and the cologne that always made him smell freshly showered.  The picture of a perfect young couple. 

As the years passed and I grew up some of that shine faded away and I got glimpses into the every day or their relationship and the glamor was replaced by something even more amazing -- unconditional love.  Love in the face of struggles.  Love in spite of adversity.  Love for each others best attributes and the others ability to see beyond the worst. 
 
I am grateful that these are my parents.  I am grateful that they believed in each other.  I am thankful that they constantly choose love, no matter how hard it could get.  And I am grateful that they let me see their marriage at its best and hardest moments.  They taught me that two is better than one, that love is worth the work, that even when things are hard the climb back to the top can be the most rewarding.
 

Accountability - Week 2

I told you I was going to do a weekly wrap up.  Look at me and all my follow through!

This week the weather was absolute perfection.  The week started off great but then I got hit with an awful stomach bug that took me out!  It was a bad scene up in this house.  But I'm feeling better and ended the week on a high note.  

Accountability - Week 2
Weeks until Walk - 30
Funds Raised to Date - $3483.14 ($530 in one week!)

Monday - 2.5 miles with boys in the stroller - a beautiful after work evening walk joined by Maura and Nate
Tuesday - Hello Stomach Flu
Wednesday - Somebody put me out of my misery
Thursday - Still down for the count
Friday - Feeling better but not pushing my luck
Saturday - 5.25 miles pushing the boys.  It was a great walk into town where Sam got to meet a real live fire man, see a real live fire truck and Will got his first taste of FroYo
Sunday - 3 miles pushing the boys

I also bought a new pair of kicks on Saturday.  I've walked about five miles in them so far.  I think they will do just fine. 

I am noticing that the bottom of my feet rub a lot and I'm starting to get some hot spots.  I'm going to have to figure this out before blisters strike. 

This week I want a do over.  My goal is to take advantage of the longer nights and walk a couple of nights after work.

Have a great week everyone!

Hitting my Stride

Today after nap time, I took advantage of the unreal weather and hit the road with the boys.  I'd been sick for the better part of the week and was a little worried that I might still be a little weak, but we headed off towards town.

We were about a mile into our walk when I realized I was actually enjoying it.  It felt GOOD.  I was having fun listening to Sam's running commentary of everything he saw and the stroller I was pushing didn't feel like a burden. 

It's the first walk I have been out on where I wasn't looking forward to the end of it.  I might actually survive this 3-Day! 

I think I'm starting to get in my groove.